Sunday, January 18, 2015

HELLO AGAIN

How have you guys been? Hope your year end break was good enough to revitalize your soul for 2015. I haven't done up a New Year post because 1) it's a little too late now and 2) this post, as of now, is far more important to me.

Some of you may have noticed Yi Ming's departure on the 13th. So for the past few days, I've been trying to get my life back on track and just... be brave. I'm, slowly but surely, retuning myself to where I was before. Don't get me wrong. I'm okay and still happy; just that I can't deny it's tough doing this whole separation thing all over again or rather, again and again. I've been trying to put away these feels because I didn't think it was necessary for me to confront or reconcile with them. I thought I'd get used to feeling this way but they remained as raw as before. 

I'm writing this post to the most recent mixtape Ming made me. We always make each other's mixtapes since our first..... date(?). In fact, that's how it all started (though that's another story altogether).

Sidenote: Sweetie, I'm likin' the first song so far. Good job!

He really wanted to embed the playlist here as a surprise for me yesterday when the new mixtape was ready, but the silly boy didn't know how haha. Now, while he's asleep, I shall help him do so.

Because there has to be 8 tracks for the playlist to be published, I included my recent mix for him too.  Don't get your hopes up. No expectations, no disappointments. But I genuinely, do hope you discover some songs you might like in there.



"It gets easier."

For those who're currently in a long-distance relationship, whoever told you the above was probably lying. They were just trying to be polite but at the same time, had unknowingly offered you some false sense of security, because I don't think it gets any easier. It doesn't.

When you wave goodbye at the airport with the glass screen in between you and him, that alone feels like enough distance to take on. If you allow me to be melodramatic, I'd even go with how the physical pang of emptiness, deep inside, as your heart aches with the realization that ‘missing you’ doesn’t even begin to cover how much you miss him. I made it a point to not cry at the airport, at least not in front of him. Simply because, in situation like this, being strong for each other is a lot more important than putting the needs of one self first. So fight those tears and smile.


"It gets easier."

How is that possible when you have to be apart from someone you find yourself more in love with each day? How can that statement even justify the complications experienced from leaving someone you wish to keep closest to these days?

The worst thing besides the distance, would be the newfound desperation you discover when you're unexpectedly teased by the bad wifi (your boyfriend chose to attached himself to at the airport); just as he called to let you know he's safe after a 14-hour flight and that he missed you very much. When you have to experience clutching your phone tight to the receiver to trace any hint of connection back to him and repeatedly echo "hello" as you anxiously await for a reply, the realisation of distance will hit you hard and the feeling of being so out-of-reach will consume you whole. That's when you have to resign to reality - ok, stay sane and let's do this again.

We juggle with extremes of proximity. Being TOO FAR and TOO CLOSE and then TOO FAR again in the span of half a year can easily screw up any couple dynamics because the time needed to grasp the reality and to get comfortable again with the circumstances we are in is undoubtedly a feat.

It's always nice when the ringing finally stops, the line gets through with no interference and the voice you're familiar with gently coos, "Hi bb."



I'll be strong. 

I'll be even stronger when I see happy couples together, laughing, smiling and holding hands and doing all the things I wish I could be doing with you. 

I'll be strong for us.


Our Winter break was lovely. We had a lot of fun travelling around and even in Singapore itself, we truly had a blast. Despite you being 10924.916 km away, it's a nice thought to know someone always has you tucked away in the back of his mind as you both go about living separate lives.

When I have finally acknowledged how this is all just a temporary logistical challenge, it's much easier to come to term with the distance because if we are in for the long haul, we have bigger things to worry about.



Always come home safe to me

Despite all the shit LDR is known for, we try to stay focus and I hang on specifically for that moment when he lands in the arrival hall. We would both be engulfed with excitement so much so that no one should fault us for having the goofiest smile across our face. Because we've learnt to live in the moment and for those moments, it makes you believe there is no limit to how far love can travel.


Till the next flight home, baby.







Saturday, December 06, 2014

ALL THE GOOD THINGS



Announcements:

Hi, you lovely people. How's your 2014 so far? If it hasn't been good, this is your chance to make it right. Stop moping and start cracking! Get outta your bed and do something fun today! There's so much to do. Hang with friends. Chill with family members. Catch a movie. go for bowling etc. Just be happy ok? 

I'm very pleased to say my 2014, though as usual a roller coaster ride as the other years, I feel like it's a lot better comparatively and it's gonna end on a very very lovely note. 

I haven't updated in a while and so here is "What's up with my life so far?"

1. I disappeared for a while cause I was.... busy studying. And for some reasons, I just discovered that studying is actually deemed as uncool??? Since when?! There's nothing more attractive in a women I find, other than wit, intellect and personality. There are waaaay too many people making study look uncool. Do I sound like I'm already being sucked into the whole typical Singaporean education system vortex? Maybe you didn't know and maybe I haven't made it obvious enough but I've always been this way. It's just that the disparity is a lot more pronounced in my current university. I never want to live up to the stereotypes that models are stupid and vapid. Some people were sooooooooo surprised when they learnt that I would skip an important fashion gig for exams revision. The question is, "Why not?" Seriously... why not??? Instead of chasing shallow stuff, secure and anchor yourself to something concrete. I'm only human, of course I complain and dread about school but ultimately, I do my part: study and hope to do well. Girls, do not let your friends' perception of what's cool and not deter you from your potential. Study smart and play hard. I am just done with my second semester and I've gotten back two grades. One of which, I received a whooping 95.3/100. I was.... in a complete shock. I've never seen that anything like that since primary school days --- I swear. Ignore all the social rules and be that smart, witty and charming woman than wishing you were her.

2. I can't wait to have a blast this December and January! Yi Ming will be touching down in the morning tomorrow. We'll spend our day chilling and nursing his jet lag. We'll also be catching movies we haven't had the time to: Big Hero 6, Horrible Bosses, Laggies and whatnots. We also have Vietnam and Taiwan to conquer!!! Thank you for those who've given us suggestions on these two places! We are very appreciative :')

3. I'm getting my iPhone 6 today with 128gb *omg* 

4. I cannot be anymore thankful to all the good things that have happened to me recently. 

5. I caught the Drums yesterday, and I would like to share with you guys my current favourite song from their favourite album. If, by any chance, you guys happen to like this song, do let me know! Each time you hear it, you might think of me? Hehe *wink*


5. Now, time to get ready and head over to Yishun to spend time with my granny and Noname - precious beings I've neglected in a while.



Catch up with your loved ones, if you haven't already.


Till' then!




Tuesday, November 18, 2014

15 NOV '14


While these emotions are still raw, I thought it would be good to document all my thoughts and beautiful memories here. I started out with not having any plans for my birthday but, as it turned out, I am a very fortunate child (or rather young adult)... blessed with thoughtful and selfless family members, boyfriend, best friends, classmates and friends. 

Not only did they remember the day that marked the beginning of my existence (in the midst of the all these crazy assignments deadline, exams revision), they took out their valuable time to plan a mini celebration for yours truly.

(Honestly, the photos and videos taken aren't of the best quality because I was trying to focus more on immersing myself in the moment rather than taking perfect visuals. And I think by doing that, I actually lived my birthday.)

So, let's start with the penultimate day before 15 Nov '14. 

Pomelo Fashion got me birthday-ready with lotsa birthday goodies. As we all know, the e-commerce market is already so so saturated with new blog-shops popping up each day. Thus, its only essential to strive to stand out in a crowded room by offering something different. For Pomelo, I'd say their X-factor is the team leading the brand. 

While the quality of their products are superb (because they're all manufactured in Korea), what impressed me most was meeting Pomelo's founder in Bangkok during the Bangkok International Fashion Week. He, yes he, was so humble. Due to our tight schedule, I had difficulty finding the time to pop by the Pomelo office to meet him. So, he instead booked a suite over at our hotel, Pullman G, brought over all the clothes and welcomed all the other influencers over warmly. 

When I got back, I met Pomelo's SG team and indeed, the people driving this brand are all very lovely and I think their work ethics really shines through. Hop over to their website, see if you like anything and experience what it's like shopping with Pomelo yourself!
Pictured: my visionary boyfriend, afraid that his birthday parcel and letter wouldn't reach me in time. He was way ahead of schedule and yes, thanks to his foresight, I received them on time. He, despite the distance, put in so much effort for this first birthday we celebrated together. 

"That's not all, babe" - on the morning of my birthday, I was greeted by a very beautiful bouquet of whites and purples. Our favourites in a bundle. The flower wasn't all, he gave me something which I think is the most practical and romantic gift of all time: an Asos Gift Voucher. Some people may be uncomfortable at the thought of blatant gifting of money and may think that it's rude. This is the sweetest alternative to it and I absolutely love it. It goes to show how much he knows me, where I shop and what I like. To have guys pick out what you like for you is a feat, and you may not even like what they get, so this is a total win-win. 
And yes, baby, I'll look beautiful for you.
(Yi Ming: OMG why the hell did I use so many "Hehe"s.)

So internet friends, this is Rachel! Meet the pleasant Rachel who's a reader turned friend! We caught a screening Interstellar together on the night before my birthday. I really appreciate the effort she took in asking me out; as someone who is not good at initiating such things, I am very appreciative of people who do. 

Thank you so much for the planner, Rach! I'd definitely utilise it! Can't wait!!

When I got home, I found three little pinks post-its at prime places which I frequent at home: the door, the toilet and my bed. My mom pasted them up before she went to bed because I got home too late and she wanted to wish me personally. How cute!!! She's the best la, really the best.

Here's a mini summary of my birthday. I wish I had more videos to show but like I've said earlier on, I'd rather be living in the moments. I woke up considerably late at 12-plus in the noon and I immediately Skyped Yi Ming while opening the letter and parcel he sent over. 
Ok, have fun watching and seeing me bare it all with my #iwokeuplikethis face.

High on SPY in the day. SPY's alcohol content is only 5% lol.
Wanz, Chingz, Jus and Jerm- I know you guys are not into cheesy shit and thus may not appreciate a  long ass corny message so I'll make it short. Thank you so much for everything you guys have done amidst the titanic load of school assignments. I'm so very thankful to have received so much from y'all despite us knowing each other only for a few months. 

Thank you, my bunch of emotional minimalists.
This. My best friends got me to do a Time Capsule for the 2019 Irina. It was the hardest thing to do that day. The entire time I was just so afraid about all that might happen and all that might not happen in 5 years time. Having to pen my thoughts down makes the time span of 5 years more concrete. I never liked thinking about the unknown i.e. future. Hence, it really wasn't easy at all.

Not only were my best friends were part of it, Yi Ming and my other friends were too. It's common knowledge that platonic relationships tend to weather storms better than romantic ones. And I thought..... what if someone who holds such significance in my life now fades away future? In this case, let's just be clear since it's already obvious. If Yi Ming and I couldn't make it, having to open this box in 5 years time might bring back unwanted memories. But at the same time, I'm curious of the content written inside... ugh do you get my dilemma???

It was tough but I finished it anyway. And talking Yi Ming at the end of the day helped giving me lots of comfort. Hoho revealed how Yi Ming was sad as well doing this activity as he hopes to be the one opening the box with me in 2019.

In the box: My message to 2019 Irina, friends and Yi Ming's messages to 2019 Irina, a list of what 2014 Irina is like, 2014 photos, 2014 dress, party popper (useful in 2019 when we open the box)... THAT'S IT.

My mom texted me the next morning: "I was thinking about it when you were doing the box with your friends. In 5 years time, I'm scared that you'd be married and that I'd be left alone."

Sigh... this activity gave me so much feels, it ain't even funny.

Thank you guys, all of you, Hoho, Trey, Vivian and Shamo, for coming all the way to my place to make my day even better than what it was already. Thank you for loving life and infecting every bit of my life with all of your love. We have come a long way since and forward is the only way to go. Friends are the family members you choose and you guys are, without a trace of doubt, one of the best decisions I've made in my life thus far.
As seen in video, we decided to celebrate our birthdays together when the clock struck midnight. Hoho's birthday falls on the 16th. What a lovely coincidence, isn't it.
Hoho, you're big girl now! Happy 21st. I couldn't be prouder of who you are becoming. I am proud of how strong you've been and the visible progress you've made in the pursuit of self-discovery. I am really very happy for you. You've no idea what a proud mama I am, knowing what a great time you had spending your birthday with family. And guess what? I know it might be too early to say but I think, Hoho's back *winks*. I love you, buddy!


OKOK ONE MORE THING BEFORE I FORGET: Thank you to all the friends who've texted. Omg, I wanna hang out with each and everyone of you so badly soon. Asides from my physical friends, thanks to all Internet friends who emailed me with lovely lovely birthday wishes!!!! I promise to get back to them soon. I've yet to even reply the text messages sent to me hahaha I'm really terrible at this. SOON AFTER MY PRESENTATIONS ON WED OK?

Last but not least, thank you sweetheart for simply, 
e v e r y t h i n g




I've so much to be grateful for.
On the 15th Nov, I learnt to love life more than I've ever had before.